How is it already Thanksgiving next week?

Time often feels like a blur for caregivers—a series of endless tasks and responsibilities. When life feels overwhelming, celebrating anything can seem impossible.

But this Thanksgiving, I encourage you to pause, even if just for a moment, and find a tiny bright spot.

Caregiving can feel heavy, but it`s in the small, unexpected moments that joy often hides:

The way your loved one lights up when you walk into the room.
A shared laugh over a cup of coffee.
A kind word from a friend or stranger reminds you you`re not alone.

Gratitude doesn`t mean ignoring the hard stuff. It means acknowledging the moments of light that make the hard stuff bearable. Try keeping a small gratitude journal this week—just one thing a day. On tough days, these little notes can remind you of the love and strength surrounding you.

To my fellow caregivers: Your love, effort, and dedication matter. Even if it feels like no one notices, it matters. This Thanksgiving, let`s take a moment to give thanks for the good in our lives and appreciate ourselves.

You`re doing incredible work, and it`s okay to recognize that. Take a deep breath, embrace even the slightest glimmer of gratitude, and know you`re making a difference.

This season, let`s find one thing—just one thing—to be thankful for each day. It might just be the bright spot we need to keep going. ...

Your First Day As a Caregiver

If you’re like most of the 53 million family caregivers, you probably don’t remember your first day as a caregiver. It’s not a milestone we celebrate, like graduation or a promotion. Instead, caregiving often creeps into our lives quietly, transforming our roles without us even realizing it.

We don’t aspire to be caregivers; it’s a role that chooses us when we least expect it. We hold onto memories of our loved ones in their prime—the soccer coach, the PTA leader—while we step into the uncharted territory of caregiving, managing appointments, and daily tasks.

Recognizing yourself as a caregiver can be a profound moment. It’s not just about the responsibilities you take on; it’s about acknowledging the depth of your love and commitment. This realization can be empowering and daunting, but it opens the door to support and connection with others who understand your journey.

Take a moment to reflect: When did you first realize you were a caregiver? Perhaps it was when you helped with groceries or made care decisions.

Embracing this role doesn’t diminish who you are; it adds another layer to your identity as a son, daughter, spouse, or friend.

Caregiving may not have been the path you envisioned, but navigating it with compassion and resilience makes your journey meaningful. Your experience matters, and so do you. ...

What’s Really Happening Behind Closed Doors? A True Story for Distance Caregivers

For caregivers in the infamous sandwich generation, balancing family, work, and caregiving from afar can feel like an act of faith. But do you really know what’s happening behind closed doors?

Sally Jo thought she did. Living in Nashville, she did her best to help her mother, Pat, who lived all the way in Portland. She arranged for me to visit Pat, assuring me that her mother just needed a quick check-in a couple of times a week—some groceries, light housekeeping, that sort of thing. Famous last words.

When I arrived, I felt a chill as the autumn wind stirred the damp, crumpled newspapers on Pat’s porch. They hadn’t been collected in days, maybe weeks. Rain-soaked mail clogged the screen door, a sign of isolation that no phone call or video chat could reveal. I rang the bell and called out, but it was Pat’s faint voice, calling from inside, that urged me to step in.

The smell hit first. It was a sharp reminder of just how alone Pat had been. "Hello?" I said, trying to steady myself. "Your daughter, Sally Jo, asked me to stop by." From somewhere deep within the cluttered rooms, Pat’s warm response came back: "Come on in, dear. Make yourself at home."

And so began our conversation. Pat was a storyteller with a rich past, sharing memories of her family, her youth, and her dreams for her children. But as she spoke, her smile faded. The truth of her current reality was harder to share. She admitted she had been confined indoors for months, the world outside becoming a distant memory, her home slowly closing in around her with debris and disrepair. What began as manageable had become overwhelming. She was embarrassed by the state of her home but felt helpless to change it.

For Sally Jo—and so many caregivers trying their best from a distance—this situation is more common than we like to think. Our loved ones rarely want to admit they need more help. But the truth is, distance caregiving requires more than an occasional call and check-in. Pat needed real, consistent support to keep her environment and her spirit healthy. ...

A Love Story Torn by hashtag#Alzheimer`s: The Unbearable Cost of Care

Elvin pulled into the parking spot for new residents, his heart heavy and hands trembling. Sixty years of love and marriage to May led him to this moment—one he never imagined facing. As he walked through the doors of the memory care facility, beads of sweat gathered on his brow. The thought of leaving her in someone else`s care seemed unbearable, but caring for her alone had become impossible.

A young man named Greg welcomed him, immediately sensing Elvin`s strain. Once inside, Elvin could no longer hold back. He spoke through tears, sharing how May`s Alzheimer`s had changed her. Once the love of his life, she now hit and bit him in confusion. He showed Greg an old photo, his voice breaking as he said, "We were so happy."

But then came the blow that broke Elvin`s heart even further—the cost—$6,000 a month, well above the national average and more than Elvin could afford.

Elvin`s story is not unique:
Nearly 2 out of 3 Americans can`t afford a year of memory care without draining their savings.
48% of families cut back on their expenses to provide care for a loved one with hashtag#Alzheimer`s.

Over 11 million Americans provide unpaid care for those suffering from Alzheimer`s or dementia, often sacrificing their health and finances.

Elvin`s journey reminds us that behind every number is a family, a love story, and often heartbreak. The time is now to demand better care options and more support for families with this enormous burden.

hashtag#CaregiverSupport hashtag#AlzheimersAwareness hashtag#SeniorCareCrisis hashtag#FamilyCaregivers ...

Caregivers Matter Too!

As my mom and I walked into the rehabilitation center, we found ourselves waiting for the intake nurse in a small, quiet room. Everything in me wanted to scoop her up and run away. We had been here before; it was the last place I wanted to be. My mind was racing, filled with worry and dread when suddenly, my mom grabbed my arm. She was sobbing uncontrollably, shaking like a leaf, holding on as if I were her lifeline. "Mom, what`s wrong?" I asked, trying to steady my voice. Through the tears, gasps, and fear, she quietly said, "I am so confused and I can`t think."

In moments like these, your world shrinks. You`re not thinking about yourself, your needs, or even your breaking point. You`re consumed by the pain of the person you love.

Reflecting on World Mental Health Day, we must recognize caregivers who often carry immense burdens in silence at home and work. Caregivers typically devote an extra 24 hours a week to their responsibilities, often at the expense of their mental well-being. The result? Chronic stress, exhaustion, and deep feelings of isolation.

Despite their sacrifices, caregivers are rarely asked about their mental health, and a staggering 27% of unpaid caregivers report struggling with their mental health. Guilt compounds this—caregivers often believe they shouldn`t prioritize themselves over the ones they care for, but this neglect has serious consequences. It impacts their health and ability to provide care and participate fully in the workforce.

The ripple effect is undeniable:

Workplace Impact: Mental health challenges like depression and anxiety lower productivity and increase absenteeism.
Global Economy: Untreated mental health conditions are estimated to cost US$1 trillion annually.

It`s time to break the silence around caregiver mental health. Supporting caregivers isn`t just their responsibility—it`s a duty we all share. Healthcare providers, employers, and society must step up to help.

To all caregivers reading this: Please remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish. It`s essential. Your well-being is just as important as the care you provide. ...

Caregivers, This One`s for You: A Wake-Up Call for Brain HealthToday!

I stumbled upon a game-changing podcast by @melrobbins and I felt compelled to share. The link to the podcast is in the comments below ⬇️. It`s a powerful reminder that while we`re busy caring for others, we mustn`t forget to care for ourselves - especially our brains.

As caregivers, particularly for those supporting loved ones with dementia, our lives often revolve around understanding the illness, planning for our loved one`s future, and managing day-to-day care. But in this whirlwind of responsibility, we often neglect our own well-being.

Dr. Wendy Suzuki, a renowned neuroscientist featured in the podcast, offers hope. Her research shows it`s never too late to start caring for your brain, and the benefits are profound:

The Exercise Revolution: Just 10 minutes of physical activity can boost your mood and cognitive function Regular exercise can reduce dementia risk by up to 35%.

Your Brain`s "Bubble Bath": Every workout bathes your brain in beneficial neurochemicals, promoting new brain cell growth in the memory center.

Beyond the Gym: Engage in puzzles, learn new skills, practice meditation, prioritize sleep, and maintain social connections. These activities are your brain`s best friends.

Remember, caring for your brain isn`t selfish - it`s essential. It enables you to be a better caregiver and safeguards your own future.

Caregivers, let`s start a conversation. How do you plan to incorporate brain care into your routine? Share your thoughts and inspire others!

#CaregiverWellness #BrainHealth #SelfCare #DementiaCare ...

Caregivers: We`ll Cross That Bridge When We Get There

Talking with your parents about their future care needs may feel unnecessary. You might even think, "My parents are fine." Yep, they are fine until they are not. And then what?

In my years of working with families, I`ve seen the consequences of waiting too long to have difficult conversations. Often, when families realize they need help, it`s too late to plan calmly and effectively. They`re left scrambling under pressure; in many cases, the person in need may resist the help they could benefit from.

This brings me to a story about Lana and Joan, two sisters who lived together for years. When Joan was hospitalized, Lana`s son reached out to me. He thought it would be good for them to learn about in-home care.

When we met, Lana and Joan were kind and welcoming. But I could sense Lana was preparing to say, "Kelli, we`re fine." I smiled and replied, "Of course you are, and I
truly appreciate you taking the time to meet with me. It`s always nice to have options in place—just in case."

But what happens when someone resists help?

That`s precisely what happened with Lana. As Joan`s health started declining, Lana insisted they could manage independently. It`s a common response, but it`s not the end of the conversation.

Here are a few strategies to consider when a loved one refuses help:

Plant the seed.
Even if they say no initially, introducing the idea early allows them time to process. This way, when the conversation comes up again, it`s not entirely foreign.
Focus on independence.
Frame the conversation around how help can preserve their independence longer. It`s not about losing control; it`s about maintaining their quality of life.
Get a professional involved.
An outside perspective can make all the difference. Whether it`s a doctor, care manager, or trusted advisor, hearing it from someone else can remove the emotional weight of family dynamics.
Offer a trial period.
Propose temporarily bringing in help. Whether for a few hours a week or just for specific tasks, this trial can ease them into accepting support without making them feel overwhelmed.

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