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The Devoted Daughter

By 2030, 1 in 5 Americans will be retirement age.

Is your family ready? If you’ve ever felt the slightest pull that you should start preparing for the future of aging, we’ve got your back.

To get started, join our free group The Silver Lining or learn about The Playbook for Aging Parents.

Founder

Kelli Bradley

In my thirties, I was focused on my career, traveling, recently married, and beginning what I thought would be the rest of my life. But when my mom was first diagnosed with diabetes, all of that changed…

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The biggest mistake I see people make when taking care of their parents is waiting too long to get help, but how do you even know when you should get help or even where to start? I have put together a free guide to help you take the first step in the process! Fill out the form below and it will be sent straight to your inbox.

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Caregiving is not a linear experience so we offer options to suit your family’s needs.

Work with a senior care professional one on one to help find guidance and clarity for your family situation.

Find help at your own pace. Check out our course The Playbook for Aging Parents for a full breakdown of how to navigate the future.

Join our free Facebook group, The Silver Lining, for weekly live videos on all things senior care.

“You are so awesome! Thank you for all the timely, great help and support. I pray God bless you many times over for all your kindness and dedication to those in need. We really appreciate you!”
– Julie

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Each week our Founder will be live discussing aging awareness, planning for the future, and the silver lining of it all.

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Breaking Free from Caregiver Guilt: Recognizing and Overcoming Negative Self-Talk

As caregivers, we`ve all heard the advice to prioritize self-care, but how often do we genuinely recognize the signs of our energy depletion? It`s an everyday struggle, one that many of us share.

The Negative Self-Talk Spiral

Let`s first discuss the negative self-talk that occurs when you are a caregiver. You know when you feel utterly defeated when all you see is the thorns on a rose instead of the beautiful bloom?
I should have been there on time; maybe Mom wouldn`t have fallen.
I was not fully engaged in Dad`s last doctor`s appointment, and we picked up the wrong medication.
We could have prevented the accident if we had removed the keys sooner.
I feel awful; why did I lose my temper? I know Mom is doing her best.
I am a terrible daughter; I don`t know how to resolve my parent`s health issues.

These thoughts are all too familiar and reflect the internal struggles caregivers face. Everyone experiences stretches of life, whether a few days or many years when the down moments are more frequent than the good. These periods can rob you of your passion, energy, and, ultimately, your vision.

To see the full article, see the link in the bio and head over to our FREE COMMUNITY: THE NEST!
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Good morning Sunriver! Taking a few minutes each day to appreciate your surroundings is a game changer especially for #caregivers. ...

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What Happens When Caregivers Don`t Have the Freedom of Choice?

Yesterday, as we commemorated Memorial Day, we honored those who sacrificed for our freedoms. It`s also poignant to reflect on those who sacrifice daily in a different arena—our nation`s caregivers. Each year, 53 million family caregivers provide unpaid care, driven by necessity and love rather than choice. When someone we love needs help, these millions step up to the challenge. But at what cost to their own lives and freedoms?

Caregiving often means putting another`s needs before your own, leading to emotional and physical strain. Many caregivers struggle with feelings of isolation, financial stress, and, indeed, guilt. It`s natural to wish for different circumstances—not out of lack of love, but out of a desire for normalcy and freedom.
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When the Unthinkable Happens: Preparing for Parental Emergencies

Let`s face it—a medical emergency can happen to anyone anytime, but convincing people to prepare is almost impossible.

Stephanie glanced over her shoulder as she entered the yoga studio. The fresh scent of the morning air filled her senses and brought a feeling of calm as she embarked on another day. Just then, the phone buzzed in her pocket. She walked out of the studio as the woman on the other end of the telephone verified her name and then began hammering her with questions about her dad.

"What are you talking about?" Stephanie could not understand what the woman was saying. "No, you must be mistaken." Stephanie yelled out, but there was no mistake. Her dad was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. Unfortunately, Stephanie and her sister live across the country.

How can I help? Is he okay? Where are they taking him? These questions swirled around in Stephanie`s head, but the most important thing was getting her dad the medical attention he needed now.

This situation underscores a critical reality: Preparation is essential. Here are five vital pieces of information that you should always have ready, which can be crucial in ensuring your family receives the best care promptly when they need it most:

Emergency Contacts: Ensure first responders have a list of immediate family contacts, including those who may live far away but should be informed.

Medical History and Current Conditions: A comprehensive list of their medical history, ongoing treatments, and conditions can drastically improve the quality of emergency care provided.

Medication List: Knowing their medications and doses can prevent harmful interactions and provide clues to their underlying health issues.

Primary Care Physician: Having their doctor`s contact information allows emergency medical personnel to obtain a quick and thorough medical overview.
Advance Directives: Ensure copies of advance directives, such as power of attorney or living wills, are easily accessible to efficiently handle legal and medical decisions.

Emergencies are daunting, and while we can`t predict them, we can prepare for them. Please don`t wait!
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Emergency Rooms and Elder Care: A Crisis Unfolding Behind Closed Doors

My mom was all too familiar with the ER. As a family of hashtag#caregivers, we did everything in our power to advocate for her and keep her out of the hospital, but she was a very sick person. Chronic illness combined with cancer, heart disease, kidney failure, and blindness made things complicated.

Having someone by her side was essential and, a few times, a matter of life and death. One evening, my mom was transported by ambulance to the hospital. I followed behind in my car, and I was shocked to find her alone in a hallway, lying on a gurney. The first responders were gone, and she was curled up in a ball with paperwork stuffed in the sheets. The pain was escalating, and she was begging me to help her. With tears running down my face, I pleaded with the intake nurse to get help. The ER was full; this was our first time in this position. I could not believe what was happening. Shocked and scared, I went to work.

Every day across America, a silent crisis unfolds in our emergency rooms. Older adults, our parents and grandparents, endure long hours on gurneys in crowded corridors. Despite needing hospital admission, they wait painfully for care, often neglected and in distress. One cannot assume everything will be okay once someone arrives at the hospital.

As I read about the severe state of ER boarding, especially post-pandemic, the plight of these older adults profoundly concerns me. Nearly 20% of ER visits are by adults aged 65 and above, and they suffer disproportionately during these long waits. They`re not just waiting; they`re often in pain, lacking basic needs like food, water, and mobility assistance. This isn`t just inefficient healthcare; it`s a public health crisis!

We need to rethink how we care for our elders in emergencies. This means planning and discussing the what-ifs before an emergency, not only for the person who may need our help but also thinking through these scenarios in advance so you can successfully advocate. Can you see how having an advocate is critical in a healthcare crisis?
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Cherished Memories and Lasting Legacies:  Happy Mother`s Day

My first thought today was of my mom. I felt her presence as I remembered Sunday brunches, weekend getaways, and the vibrant hanging baskets she so loved. Alongside her was my gram, another remarkable woman whose influence is a constant in my life. Although they are no longer here, they remain at the forefront of my thoughts today and every day.

As the Northern Lights cascaded across the sky this weekend, a profound sense of peace washed over me, as if my mom was beside me. At that moment, my thoughts turned to cherished memories of my path ahead and the legacy I hope to build, inspired by the values they taught me.

Life is fleeting. Our children grow up, we enter new chapters of our lives, and what once seemed critical now fades into the background. Yet, the lessons from those we`ve loved and lost remain timeless.

Today, I honor my mom and grandmother by embodying their teachings daily. Through small acts of kindness, maintaining the garden my mom would have adored, or upholding family traditions she cherished, I feel their guidance and love.

For those who feel their loved one`s absence today, remember that we honor them not through their presence but through our remembrance. They endure in the stories we tell, the love we share, and the impact we make on others.

This Mother`s Day, let`s celebrate the indelible impact of the mothers, grandmothers, and maternal figures who have shaped our lives. Consider visiting a special place for you both, preparing her favorite dish, or sharing a treasured memory with someone who never had the pleasure of knowing her.

In their memory, we continue to live, cherish, and, most importantly, love.
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No Shortage of Love, but How Do We Care For Our Aging Parents?

Nancy stepped outside into the cold night air, her breath forming circles against the night sky.
Escaping, even just momentarily, seemed like her only solace. Inside her family home, where she had returned to care for her aging mother, the walls seemed to close in with each passing day. Her mother`s Alzheimer`s was progressing, and Nancy, like many in her situation, felt overwhelmed and heartbreakingly isolated. The very thought of placing her mom in a care facility brought a surge of guilt, yet managing at home was becoming untenable.

According to CBS News, over 80 million Americans are simultaneously juggling caring for small children and aging parents. Often referred to as `the sandwich generation,` these individuals find themselves squeezed between the needs of different family members, struggling to provide adequate care and attention to both. In this dual role, Americans are shouldering more than 26% of the cost of care, underscoring a critical societal issue: the need for robust support systems and actionable solutions.

How can we support those who care for our elderly loved ones? The first step is recognizing the immense emotional, physical, and financial strain on caregivers.

Here are a few ways we can start making a difference:

Advocate for Better Policies: Support initiatives and policies that provide respite care, financial aid, and healthcare benefits for caregivers. Lobby for tax deductions or credits for those providing elder care, akin to those available for parents of dependent children.

Community Support Networks: Encourage the formation of local support groups and networks that offer a shared space for caregivers to connect, share experiences, and exchange resources. Community centers, online forums, and local health services can serve as platforms for these vital connections.

Increased Awareness and Education: Promote awareness about the needs of aging populations and their caregivers. Educational programs can help caregivers identify resources, learn coping strategies, and gain skills.
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